Life on the other side

Well well: the black hen, otherwise known as Ms Black, has started crowing this morning.....looks like it's a case of mistaken gender. His/her father started out as Daphne and ended as Damian so maybe showing true sex late runs in the family. And there Granny and Beloved were assuming the little eggs came from him/her. What a good layer, they told each other, thereby belittling the likely providers the two Misses Brown.For now it looks like Ms/Master Black did not lay them- not unless he/she is a genuine hermaphrodite. But then aren't genuine hermaphrodites infertile? Granny's not up on the mysteries of gender ambiguity. You tell her.

Let's have some other island politics - sexual and otherwise, concerning the growing organic movement on this island: organic pro-creation it would seem works for all species, vegetable and animal. Granny and Beloved have lost their source of free-range lamb - the delectable milk lamb that is the only form of meat that Granny, a vegetarian at heart, has ever really liked. Turns out that the provider, originally from Spain, arriving on the island quite a while back along with the Catalan lady who now runs the local organic shop, has had two wives since, producing 5 children all of whom live with him and are educated privately, by him. Since organic produce does not provide for such things he operates as an osteopath and faith healer in Germany - much more lucrative than Lanzarote - travelling to and fro every week. Oh and he also finds time for another girlfriend, or two. Something had to go, and in the end it was the goats and sheep that went, bleating pitifully in the back of the truck all the way down the very rough track that leads from the hill. What a shame. Someone else is now rearing goats up there and making yoghurt, but this goat lady is not into rearing and slaughtering lambs. So no more fetching small bagged-up corpses from a magic valley high in the hills: Granny will miss that. And Beloved is thinking of importing a couple of ewes to provide the lambs himself. But what to feed them on? And where to find a ram? Next week, Granny and Beloved will be seeking advice from Aurora the owner of the billy goat who impregnated Ruby the goat. She keeps about five goats, two or three sheep, god knows how many chickens, pigeons and a parrot in a very small area behind and illegally close to her house. Granny is not so sure of this possible venture: she thinks that there's quite enough livestock around their land already. On the other hand those delectable lambs.... oh dear, oh dear.

The dramas that turn up here never seem to end. She'll give you another one tomorrow. (Nothing to do with sex this time, though gender comes into it.) She imagines you can bear to wait.